Musings

Opinion : Love yourself 101 required or not?

February 21, 2011

Hi Everyone,
Lets have a discussion.

So I keep hearing this statement “You can’t love someone until you love yourself”. I probably said it myself in the past too, but the more I think about it, the more problematic it seems to me. Before I get into it, let me mention that i’m a hopeless(ful) romantic, and very optimistic about most things- people don’t like my kind too much-

See I’m all for self-love and all and I see how it can make a relationship easier but I really don’t see how it interferes with loving another person.

Let me give you a scenario : I have a friend, lets call her M, two years ago she started dating this guy, actually let me back-track M was one of those girls who had been through so much shit, it had you wondering how she was still standing, and thriving. She had a lot of issues in loving herself as a result- Anyways so this boy came along and they started dating, I didn’t approve at first, ‘cos I didn’t think she could give him what he wanted.

But I was wrong, they actually ended up having a pretty healthy relationship, that it had its own dose of ups and downs like most relationships do. They loved each other and everyone could see it. When they broke it off- Hahah no this isn’t a happily ever after story- He moved out of the country, She was a better person altogether, it was amazing, that she had somehow found herself in him through his love for her… (there is the hopeless romantic bit)

But yeah there’s an example that proves the saying wrong, but of course we don’t live in a perfect world and chances are if her Boyfriend had turned out to be a jerk she might have been worse for wear but still…
This is not me advocating throwing yourself into another’s arms when you know you have issues with you… I’m just saying I don’t necessarily agree with the statement

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Or have an experience to share?

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2 Comments

  • Reply thuggish x February 21, 2011 at 5:15 am

    The love urself bit tends to become an issue when one person is essentially living “vicariously” through the other..and then the relationship morphs from symbiosis into some wierd parasitic ish..which never ends well(apart from the initial sex which tends to be mind blowing lol)..either ways I think that the important thing is not so much self love as being “comfortable” with ur own personality..i.e don’t be with somebody until you’ve learned how to be alone..dang that was deep sha!

  • Reply Sabirah February 21, 2011 at 5:19 am

    Thank you for commenting!”thuggish x” I definitely agree with you. Being comfortable with oneself is definitely important.

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