I wasn’t born with a rule book…

May 31, 2011

…And I don’t intend on living my life like I was, I’m about to graduate and as a result I have been doing a lot of reflection. How did I get here? and am I happy with where I am in Life now? I’ve had a lot of doubts in this last month about my academic experience, a part of me feels like I didn’t get what I wanted out of it, all of a sudden I realized I should have been an African history and Women and Gender studies, psychology proved to be too euro-centric for me. But I still enjoyed the hell out of it.

Over the years I had made a strict life plan, the most recent being that I would graduate, enter a PhD in social psychology, do that for about 6 years and then from there head home. But there was so much wrong with this plan, first my longing for my family and home couldn’t be quenched, for every extra day I spent here I felt more homesick than the last. When I didn’t get into the graduate program I wanted to go to, I took it as a blessing, and opportunity to re-route my plan. I’m going home. Because I know now that I forgot to look at the bigger picture, there were many different ways to reach my goals of empowering young girls… many

My anxieties about graduating had left me feeling unaccomplished and I even toyed with the idea of staying an extra year, but I realized that my time here is done and learning doesn’t stop within the walls of a university in fact I think I got exactly what I was supposed to get out of an education, a deep desire to know more and confidence about the little I know, confidence to use that little bit to impact little changes everyday.

I’m closer to most of my dreams than i have ever been before, 2005 was the first time I thought about going to Italy, 2008 was the year I decided to learn Italian and 2011 is the year I am going to Italy. 2009 was the year that I realized I want to dedicate my life to empowering young girls, in 2010 The empowerment project was born. If someone asks me what is your five-year plan? I confidently reply, “I have no idea, but I will be happier and living all of my dreams for sure” I wasn’t born with a rule book.

I’m not just satisfied, I’m overjoyed!

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  • Reply Laurenta June 1, 2011 at 12:34 am

    I’m happy for you love.
    Speaking italian in huge oh
    Was it terribly difficult?
    I trying to learn French

  • Reply Sabirah June 1, 2011 at 6:24 am

    Thank you Laurenta 🙂
    Italian was easy when i first started, then it got progressively harder, but i was already invested in it. As long as you’ve got the passion 🙂 go for it!

  • Reply Yinkuslolo June 5, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    I can relate to this on so many levels.


  • Reply Sabirah June 5, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    Glad someone else out there feels me 😀

  • Reply NakedSha April 8, 2012 at 2:11 pm

    I feel you.

    I recently brushed aside my plan A, not because it cannot work but because it is not the best for me. Plan A was to graduate and immediately begin my PhD. I could finish in 5 years, return to Naij and do that which I oh so love to do. The problem with this plan (and plans B, C and D) is that what I need to do does not require a PhD and certainly not now. So, I’ve rearranged the paper plates on my wall which house my plans and plan E seems like it now. I might be very much equipped to do that which I was born to do with a Bachelors or Masters.

    Life teaches us to rearrange plans we make about it.

    • Reply Sabirah April 8, 2012 at 2:37 pm

      it definitely does. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  • Reply Viki April 27, 2015 at 10:50 am

    so lovely! go girl!!

  • Reply sisionabudget April 27, 2015 at 9:24 pm

    I feel like this is a lesson we keep learning in the changing seasons of our lives. To paraphrase one of my favourite quotes, over time our goals change; what is needed today may not be right for you a year from now. It’simportant to be willing to change directions instead of hanging on to “the way things ought to be”.

    This post brings back a lot of memories good and bad. Grateful for growth and change, no matter how painful.

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