21st century Homemaker

February 27, 2012

When I came back to Nigeria, my mom encouraged me to join Toastmasters, a leadership and public speaking club she was an active part of. I mostly joined because I was curious and didn’t have much to do anyways. Can I just say it’s been wonderful! There are not many spaces in Nigeria where young adults can mix with much older people freely and be spoken to as equals (sort of). The environment is so welcoming and positive, I immediately felt comfortable. I’ve been attending since then and I’ve won “best table topics” (a 2minute impromptu speech session) twice πŸ˜€ I have already started improving. I’m really thankful for this space.

Anyways, last thursday we had another meeting, our meetings are great because anyone can come so we usually have new people visiting each time. After the speeches and general activities for the day are done, the guests are made to introduce themselves to the members (name, profession etc) and what they liked or disliked about the meeting. So this gorgeous woman, who was really well spoken (her table topic had been funny, cos she was so nervous and cute)- i had basically been wondering about her since- Got up to speak.

She introduced herself; “My name is Mrs. XXX and I’m a homemaker” with a dazzling smile. All of a sudden I wanted to know everything, who is this woman? What does it mean to be a homemaker? What does it entail? So I went to speak to her afterwards and asked her. She gladly answered me; She was a mother of five and she had dedicated her life to raising her children and taking care of her home. The idea was so profound to me- it wasn’t that I had never met a housewife before, it was that I hadn’t met one like her. I always imagined dreary, overworked women. Or something. Defintely not her. Two years ago I would have scoffed at the idea of a housewife, and even now that I was open to it, it was nice to encounter something that broke that stereotype I had created. And she got paid! very well! I won’t lie I was already dreaming could I? Would I?

It was a pleasure to talk to her and I hope she comes to the meeting next week so I can pick her brain some more and make her my friend! I love being in the company of older people. Speaking of which, there is an older couple who I also love at our meetings! The man is a neurosurgeon, has his own practice and his wife works with him as the clinic manager. They are so cute, always dressed up, his pocket squares are just too dapper.  Everytime she gets up from her seat, he does so as well out of respect,- basically the perfect gentleman.Sigh I’ll stop gushing.

Love, old age, and good choices,

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  • Reply Pwettybambi February 27, 2012 at 10:15 am

    I wish I could meet the Homemaker because everytime I say “I’m going to be a housewife” I get side eyes like its a crime or a taboo. Biko share ALL the advice she gives you o…Ok tenze Bye (future housewife).

    • Reply Sabirah February 27, 2012 at 10:16 am

      I for sure will be picking her brain! you would love her!!

    • Reply Pwettybambi February 27, 2012 at 10:19 am

      Awww i’m sure I will. Thanks Sabs

  • Reply Ameenah O February 27, 2012 at 10:46 am

    Nice post πŸ™‚ The Toastmasters sounds like a brilliant club that I should have joined like yesterday, but hey, I have a PhD in being nervous!

    • Reply Sabirah February 27, 2012 at 10:57 am

      Thank you! Not sure where you are in the world Ameenah, but toastmasters is an international organization so if you can find one around you (google toastmasters in your area)then do it! you will be all the better for it

  • Reply Ameenah O February 27, 2012 at 11:03 am

    I’m in Lagos. Thanks, I’ll try

    • Reply Sabirah February 27, 2012 at 11:12 am

      There are many meetings at different locations in Lagos, if you need help finding one just let me know πŸ™‚

  • Reply moyin :) February 27, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Ah yes, toast masters, I went for a couple of meetings in Abuja. I love this. I love this woman already. Seriously, I admire women that take raising a family seriously and enjoy it. Because honestly, the only images we have of housewives are the disgruntled, dissatisfied women, and I do not want to be one of them.
    Having met some, I’m beginning to feel open to the idea. Please pick her brain for us!

    • Reply Sabirah February 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

      yay! will do πŸ™‚

  • Reply Miss Enigma February 27, 2012 at 4:35 pm

    What I wanna know is who pays her? lol her hubby? I need me that kinda man πŸ™‚ Sounds like a fun gathering…I feel like lately I’ve started longing for such gatherings, where young and old get to mingle and have great conversations and good food and fantastic light music πŸ™‚ *le sigh*

    • Reply Sabirah February 27, 2012 at 7:33 pm

      it’s fantastic! πŸ˜€

  • Reply BBB February 27, 2012 at 7:06 pm

    wait, did you say she got paid?

    • Reply Sabirah February 27, 2012 at 7:34 pm

      yep, her husband pays her, 24hr job.

  • Reply Sopi March 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    That’s lovely. Sounds like a really awesome gathering. i’m also loving the neurosurgeon and his wife, keep it up Sab

    • Reply Sabirah March 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

      it is ! πŸ˜€ you need to meet them! they are lovely!

  • Reply Anonymous September 25, 2012 at 10:36 am

    Hello Sabirah, please can you give me more information on finding a meeting in lagos? I’m interested in joining so as to improve my communication skills. My email is

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