Musings

Forgiveness

August 11, 2012
I forgave someone, I’m not sure when I did but I know it was recently. It’s weird though, because I didn’t know I was even holding a grudge.

Here’s the thing, she didn’t do anything to me, probably why I didn’t know that I was even mad at her. She hurt someone I care fiercely about and I held on to that, even after said person had let go. I shut her out, somewhat unknowingly, for all I knew she might as well not have existed. But these things are never isolated, as I shut out my relationship with her, I also began to close the window on others, sort of like a domino effect and soon there were a whole bunch of forgotten people.

It’s weird because forgiveness is one of those things I feel like I am gifted with, I rarely ever hold a grudge. In fact I’ve often called forgiveness one of my faults, yet this particular case flew under my radar. And I held on to it for years.

But the way a grudge works is interesting, it does the exact opposite of what you hope it would do, because instead of attacking the other person, it eats at you. Slowly but surely, if you’re lucky (or unlucky I should say) you might not notice and go on living your life like “normal”. Hopefully when  you realize it won’t be too late.

I spoke to her on my birthday, and we had a pleasant conversation and I felt a bit lighter, two days later we shared a joke and I felt just a tad lighter again. I saw a picture of her today and thought it was beautiful and I smiled to myself, I contemplated telling her… baby steps.

I feel lighter and free…

Take a small step towards forgiving someone today

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3 Comments

  • Reply kovieparker August 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    You know, like they say, forgiveness is more for you than it is for the other person.

  • Reply Sabirah August 12, 2012 at 6:04 am

    Exactly! 🙂

  • Reply Gbemisoke September 5, 2012 at 9:52 pm

    I can relate…
    Someone who hurt me deeply years ago called me recently to say she was sorry and I struggled. I was sure I had forgiven her. Did I really? I would like to think I did.
    Shutting her out made it easy to deal with the pain. I’m not sure I want to let her back in. I can’t deal. I don’t want to process all those emotions. I do not begrudge her. I have set her free.
    Forgiveness is tricky. *sigh*

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  • Reply On Women and Friendship – SabirahO April 26, 2015 at 5:46 pm

    […] I value my female connections fiercely. From my mother, to my sister friends and the women I work with, I know how important real friendship between women is. I’ve been hurt before but I’ve never let that overshadow the power of these connections, instead, I try to practice forgiveness. […]

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