On Awkward First Dates

January 16, 2013
It’s was the Partner and I’s anniversary in November and it gave me quite a bit to think about! I’m still glad I said yes and especially glad that even after the most awkward of first dates we still gave it a shot :).

Let me tell you how it went. So we had been talking everyday on the phone for weeks, emails, bbm, Gchat and phone calls. You know that stage right when every breathing moment is spent in some kind of communication with the other? During our conversations we had talked about going out together and what our dates would be like. I made it very clear that when the time came, he couldn’t just be like “let’s hang” and  then I’d go over and watch movies or something. No, I wanted the works, or at least dinner + wine. Other than that though I left everything else up to him.

Unfortunately on the actual day of the first date, I fell ill. By noon that day fever and body aches were ravaging my body and at 1p.m. I finally called off our dinner date (I wonder if it would have been different if we had gone that day). I ended up being really ill for about 10 days which was not only exhausting but strange for me.

We were finally able to reschedule two weeks after the original date. He picked me up and we chatted lightly on our way to the restaurant, there was just a tad of stiffness in the air but I had anticipated that. He kept  staring at me (side-eye he still does lol) which made me a bit uncomfortable. We finally arrived at the restaurant, and things went OK, we ordered- I think I ordered lamb or something.

Sigh, there are so many things you don’t take into account when you’re not spending one-on-one time, I mean there is tons of body language to be processed. I couldn’t stare back at him so I just awkwardly pushed my food around and muttered quiet replies. The conversation was halting but not terrible and overall dinner wasn’t bad.

So here is where it got really awkward. I had decided that I wanted to go sleep over at my friend’s place that night so told him there was no need to take me home. He insisted that he would take me to my friend’s house which was a bit off the grid, another friend wanted to go so we picked her up (stay with me here…), we were all in the car and tried to make conversation but it wasn’t really flowing. To worsen the situation, we were stuck in stand still traffic a 40min drive became 4hours (I’m not kidding). It was horrid. Homeboy was humming to some music and it was driving me nuts so I turned and faced the window till we finally reached our destination way past midnight.

We got out of the car and there was no hug, no kiss on the cheek just a mumbled goodbye. I couldn’t believe it, the whole thing was so funny(strange) to me. We spoke a little the next day but it wasn’t the same. I was so sad but I let it be for a while, slowly we got back to where we were, talked it all out and realised that we both had big expectations and forgot about the little details.

Our second date was a complete 180 turn. We had such a great time that the restaurant has become one of my favorites (virtual cookie for who can guess). Looking back I’m thankful that I gave it another shot, because the truth is that we are both very different in many ways and still have to work out the kinks from time to time, but in that difference, there is MAGIC and it is beautiful.

As I’ve said before, Baby you’re worth the work!
Happy anniversary!

Yaay to second chances.

Are you one to give second chances? why or why not?

Love always,

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  • Reply Oghenero Afiari January 16, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    I’m definitely a second-chance type of person cos even though someone doesn’t fit the description of your ideal friend/BF/husband, the more you interact with that person, the higher the chances that you will notice qualities in that person that makes the sacrifice (you choosing them) worth it! Moreover, even if a person offends me, I like to give them a second chance to prove themselves worthwhile. Why? The reason is it may be worth it in the end if you create a wonderful friendship with said person.

  • Reply Oghenero Afiari January 16, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    Oh and heyyy I’m looking forward to tidbit Thursdays. May the internet connection force be with you! LOL

  • Reply Tobiloba January 16, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    I’m a second, 3rd even 4th chance kinda person, especially when I feel something is salvageable, I really hate regretting things so I always give chances so I know without a doubt that there wasn’t anything to regret. Ahhh, the beauty in been different yet able to fit so well together, that’s a really great thing. Bless you guys.

  • Reply Taynement January 17, 2013 at 3:45 am

    I was typically not a give a chance person when it comes to guys. My mindset was I know what I want and if it’s not there, it’s not. But as I grew older and wiser, I realized that we have all this ideologies of how we want our partners to be that when it comes in a package we don’t expect we immediately nix. You aren’t doing yourself any favors with that. So yea sometimes chances work and sometimes they don’t. Glad it worked out for you. Congratulations!

  • Reply Jaydyh January 17, 2013 at 7:27 am

    love happy endings.
    God bless you both.
    Can I get an email address with which to contact you?

  • Reply Anonymous January 17, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Awwww this is so swweeeeeeeet 😀 Happy for you guyz

    Sha invite us for the wedding sha

  • Reply Lohi January 17, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    Awwww too cute! Happy it worked! I will always give anyone a chance….a second chance it depends on how badly you messed up the first one. lol. Glad it worked for you tho.

  • Reply Mz.T January 20, 2013 at 3:51 am

    This is too cute! I’ve found myself in similar situations more than once: where you talk endlessly with someone virtually and then when you meet in person it’s like there’s nothing left to say.

    I’m a 4th and 5th chance giver. I don’t think I like it.

  • Reply Bimbo F January 28, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    This is so so so cute. I’m glad you gave it a second shot and it turned out well. Cheers to you guys

  • Reply Bella Joya January 29, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    awwwnnnnnnn!!! depending on how bad the first chance went..i may or may not give another chance. If its all akwardness then definitely a secon chance.. if its something like the way he treats me, not good, rude, condescending and such definitely no second chance.

  • Reply Ada February 9, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    such a cute story! The 4-hour drive must have felt like torture at the time, I cringe during awkward silences lol

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