Life, Musings

On Women and Friendship

April 26, 2015

I’ve been thinking about friendship a lot lately. Earlier this week I had dinner with my girlfriend, I left dinner feeling so full, recharged and rejuvenated. It made me think about how much I value my friends, and in particular, my female friends.

Some one sold us a lie about female friendship, that women are catty and just want to bring each other down. That women are their own “downfall”. I’ve never bought into this lie as the opposite has always been my reality. I’m not discounting anyone’s experiences but I hate that it’s been made to be a female thing when friendships fall out. People are people and they will disappoint each other – this not a feminine trait but a human one. Sometimes Friendships will naturally fade away and that’s OK too (This is a tough one for me to accept, but more on that another day)

I value my female connections fiercely. From my mother, to my sister friends and the women I work with, I know how important real friendship between women is. I’ve been hurt before but I’ve never let that overshadow the power of these connections, instead, I try to practice forgiveness.

When two women connect there is magic! There is an energy that can’t be described. We can lift each other up in so many ways and I always feel enriched by the women around me. Being a woman in this world of ours is interesting to say the least and can be very fulfilling with a hand to hold, someone who gets it.

I really want to nurture my female connections a bit more, and I want to encourage young girls, and women alike to reach out for and to one another, lift each other up and build real friendships. There’s nothing quite like it.

So I’m challenging you this week

Call up a girlfriend

Take your sister on a date

Spend some time actually ‘listening’

Go out there and be a sister 🙂

Have a fantastic week ahead,

Love always,


p.s. Thanks so much for all your kind comments on my loss they were really comforting

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  • Reply Ife.O April 26, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    This! I have always wondered too, when girls say things like “I don’t have female friends, they bring too much drama.” That has never been my case. I have been absolutely blessed with friends, good ones. Do they have some annoying traits here and there? Yes. Are they perfect? No. But have they always been there for me in many ways? Absolutely yes. I have also not had so much drama like that. I once had a friend who did something despicable to another friend of ours, and I became really wary and careful, but apart from that, girls absolutely rock!

  • Reply Moyin April 27, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    I used to be one of those people who said “I don’t have any female friends” but boy was I wrong.
    I really, really love what you said about the magic in two women connecting. I feel that magic these days with my new friends and old friends and I wonder what I missed all those days believing the lie.

    I just discovered the concept of friend dates and I’ve been on one recently and it was amazing.
    I might just ask another person on one this week, thanks to this post.
    P.S: I know it’s been a while, I’ve been reading.

  • Reply Tega April 30, 2015 at 3:04 pm

    Lovely post. There was a time I used to feel sad about not having more close friends that knew me in and out and vice versa. I wanted to have childhood friends turned sisters. I can probably count my close female friends but they are priceless.

  • Reply An Afrikan Butterfly May 2, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    Very well said!

    A lot of people do not value their female friendships or even look for them, because they’ve been told this lie and they believe it.
    I think part of this depends on how we are socialized. I’ve met people who say they don’t really do “friends” in general, and everytime I ask, I find out that they also have parents who do not care much for friendship. Both my parents “do friends”, very seriously- so perhaps, that’s why it’s natural to me to be one, and to have some too. I went to a girls school and it was hard. Of course, there’d always be mean girls and bullies, but one of the things they taught us was sisterhood. I don’t know any girls from there who don’t like girls “because girls have too much drama.” Or anything like that.

    I have a circle of girlfriends (5 from uni and bestie from high school) and they are my sisters. We are supportive of each other. The bants never end, it’s always a roaring great time when we are together, and we don’t hold back from telling each other the truth. People catch up with me sometimes and are actually surprised we are still just as close. I just pray everyone gets to experience the beautiful, very special bond, that is true friendship. And sisterhood too <3

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