Musings

Old school blogging

December 14, 2015

Hey!

 

Long time no old school style blog- where I just write freely about a random experience.

I promised during last week’s Thursday tidbits that I’d tell you about my epic fail trying to pick up a guy. This was supposed to go up on Friday but I ended up spending most of that day in traffic and the weekend was way too busy…

So last weekend while I was in Abuja, my friends and I went to a party on Sunday evening. It was outdoors, the night air was crisp and cool from the harmattan and we were generally having a good time. My friends went to the bathroom and within one minute of sitting alone, some guy comes to talk to me.

Him: Hello, what’s your name?

Me:… um, Sabirah?

Him: My brother said I should get your number.

Me:…

Him:…

Me: I don’t get, are we in 1999, where is he? Why can’t he come himself?

Him: Well he had to leave so asked me to help him.

Me: What a nice brother you are, please tell him I said no.

Him: Please now…

(At this point I’m beginning to find the whole exchange hilarious and decide to cool it)

Me: What if your brother is an ogre? Looks aren’t everything but I like to know what I’m getting into…

Him: He isn’t an ogre (no kidding lol), you’re making this hard oh, don’t you know it’s not easy walking up to girls?

Me: Really? All you have to do is start a conversation, it’s not that hard…

(We banter like this for a while…)

Then

(I stand up, and start talking to a random guy walking past, I say hi, ask for his name, if he lives here, guy is surprised but responds politely, Bobby (brother of the perhaps ogre) interrupts, “not this guy!”. Guy walks away.)

Bobby: OK I’ll pick any guy here, you chat him up and get his number, I won’t collect your number for my brother, if you’re unsuccessful, you’ll give me your number?

Me: Deal.

(ps, I may have had 4+ drinks at this point so I’m quite jolly. Not tipsy, just jolly. lol)

So Bobby and I walk around for a bit and he spots his target, the guy is tall and wearing a blue polo shirt, dark skinned, sitting with a group but not interacting.

Me: Hello, What’s your name? I’m Sabirah.

Him: *Frown*, My name is M*

Me: Nice to meet you, do you live here in Abuja?

Him: *skeptical* yes, why?

Me: Just wondering, I live in Lagos, but I’m here for a friend’s wedding.

(I show him my henna, He says nothing… awks)

Me: So… What do you do? (lame, but this guy is not even trying to talk, I’m flailing here, help)

Him: Why are you asking all these questions (Shet mehn, See Ela) (By the way, Bobby is cracking up as in tears on his face laughing.)

(M* asks who Bobby is and I tell him to ignore him)

Me: (I’m a trooper, so I press on) I’m just trying to make conversation… (silence). Well I’m a teacher… I don’t know many people in Abuja… (he cuts me off)

Him: But why me? Out of all the guys here why me? (ah wahala. One chance.)

Me: Um, you look interesting? (fail)…

Him: I was kidnapped 2 years ago and I don’t trust strangers (That escalated quickly.) (How did Bobby pick the one guy who had been kidnapped before? )

Me: Wow, I’m so sorry, I’ll leave now.

(Your Loss M, I was looking quite delicious that day too)

( I walk away, with Bobby practically dancing galala with glee behind me. The Ela was heavy.)

I give Bobby my number, He calls the next day to see a movie (with him, not his brother any longer, hmmm- I decline because I just want to be a bum that day…)

And that’s the end.

LOL.

Ladies, have you ever tried to pick up a guy? Guys, what’s the worst response you’ve ever gotten while trying to talk to a girl?

p.s. Should I do more of these types of posts?

Love always,

Sabirah

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29 Comments

  • Reply Moyin December 14, 2015 at 11:23 pm

    LOL this was a very funny read. Please do more of these. I don’t have problems chatting guys up but I recently asked a guy out and received massive ela so I think I’m not doing again abeg.

    • Reply Sabirah December 14, 2015 at 11:24 pm

      The fear of Ela is the beginning of wisdom! LOL!

  • Reply kovieparker December 14, 2015 at 11:25 pm

    Hahahaha! I’m going to do this. I have to! ????
    Ah, but this M sef. Ah ahn, cool down for Jesus.
    And yes to more posts like this.

    • Reply Sabirah December 14, 2015 at 11:26 pm

      The guy vex oh? I never esperred it! LMAO

  • Reply Amina O December 14, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    Lmaooooo this is so funny! It doesn’t sound like you. I wonder how it will have gone down if it was Lagos.

    • Reply Sabirah December 14, 2015 at 11:29 pm

      hahahaha, I’m trying out new things, shake life up a little. Mehn, I don’t think I can do it in Lagos oh, hmmm.

  • Reply Rotimi December 14, 2015 at 11:33 pm

    PLOT TWIST! Bobby does not have a brother and it was all scopes!

    • Reply Sabirah December 14, 2015 at 11:34 pm

      Hhahahhahah I’m inclined to believe this, It was good fun anyway. LOL

      • Reply Simi December 15, 2015 at 9:30 am

        Rotimi

  • Reply Tobi December 14, 2015 at 11:55 pm

    I’ve approached a girl because my friends bet that I couldn’t get her number. I thought the best thing to do would actually be to just tell her it was a bet so I can beg very politely for her number to win the bet, which I did, but turned out it was precisely because she didn’t want me winning a bet on her that she refused to give me the number. Worst response I’ve ever gotten…

    • Reply Sabirah December 14, 2015 at 11:57 pm

      OMG! So much for being honest, doesn’t that count for something? LOL

  • Reply Yomah December 15, 2015 at 12:10 am

    Hahahahaha omg I loved this so much. You definitely should.
    I’ve walked up to so many guys. The last time I did, he was polite and gave me his number, he said I was courageous too. Loooool!
    He didn’t pick up when I called him tho. So I didn’t bother. 🙁

  • Reply Kiite December 15, 2015 at 12:34 am

    Lmao M went from 0 – 100 so quick. Bobby thinks he’s slick ?
    Loved this post, definitely more like this x

  • Reply Ade December 15, 2015 at 1:36 am

    Hahaha!

  • Reply GorgeousBskin December 15, 2015 at 1:56 am

    Dying laughing!
    M though! He probably was super uptight like this with the stranger who kidnapped him, ha ha
    Definitely yes to more posts like this one Sab, totally enjoyed reading it.
    2 thumbs up!

  • Reply Tega December 15, 2015 at 2:51 am

    BuHahahahahahaha. Yo. That escalated like gasoline on fire. And Lol at being jolly and not tipsy.

  • Reply An Afrikan Butterfly December 15, 2015 at 7:26 am

    Bahahahahaha
    That escalated really fast! I cannot!
    He was kidnapped last year, eyah, I don’t blame him
    More old school blogging, yassss

  • Reply Ike December 15, 2015 at 8:09 am

    Lol!!!! Why did it have to be the previously kidnapped person? And you don’t even look that menacing, sef.
    I think I’ve tried to pick up a guy before, I spearheaded the conversation, let him ask for my number then I said no. I must have been less busy or ‘jolly’.

  • Reply Simi December 15, 2015 at 9:29 am

    buhahahaahahahah!!!! LMAO!

    FAVORITE POST!- Okay maybe not, top 5.

    I would have been crying on the floor, had I been there. Totally AWKS! Awww Bobby…

    I am thinking I try this with a few friends this weekend. I would be back to give feedback, or perhaps, if you allow, a guest post :d

    xxx

  • Reply Chioma December 15, 2015 at 10:08 am

    LMAO!!! Trying not to ruin my makeup.

    I’ve never tried to pick up a guy. Attending a couple of weddings this weekend. Perhaps I could put this to the test? Or maybe not. *clucks out of comments section*

  • Reply Ute December 15, 2015 at 10:31 am

    I enjoyed this thoroughly. I should give it a try.

  • Reply Gerry December 15, 2015 at 11:42 am

    Naaa! Bobby ain’t got no Bro. I think it was just yarns. The other guy though. I guess he still has trauma from the kidnap but a polite convo isn’t so bad .

  • Reply Enytan December 15, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    I hv had to chat up a Guy before. Always turns out well. This one was one chance but if it were me .. i will atoll press on and use that kidnap as a fresh start but obvly .. y string along for a dare. I love thé post. More or this will keep me coming back.

  • Reply taynementt December 15, 2015 at 4:01 pm

    this made me laugh

  • Reply Nene December 15, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    LOOOOOL! Na wa oh. M is so touchy. I loved this.

    I want to do something like this. Lol. That’s my plan for next year, to lean in. Try stuff like this. Interesting read.

  • Reply Humzz December 15, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    Ahn Ahn, M must have been really having a bad day.
    Fine girl like you.

    I’ve been laughing.
    I should try this.

  • Reply Ife.O December 16, 2015 at 5:23 am

    LMAOOOO! M was not smiling…I’m not even gonna say i’ll try this cos i KNOW I am not that courageous. Great posts, keep it coming, please.

  • Reply Roconia December 16, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Bahahaha!

    1. Yes, absolutely, to more posts like this! Fun and funny read. 2. Never have I ever approached a guy but I might add that to my fear challenge 2016.

    Great post!

  • Reply Oyinsay December 31, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    Haha! Very nice but i dont have the patience. So when a certain guy tries “toasting” me in such an unclever manner, i just say no bluntly and reply every single question with. “No”. Some call me wicked and all sorts just to make me feel bad. But when im in a good mood, i play along n act friendly but it still all ends with a no

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